Biden Bot Goes Into ‘Aggressive’ Kid Handling Mode At A Middle School

Someone at the White House, please lock Joe back in the basement where he was hiding out, drinking his prune juice and napping in front of the televisions during the campaign, instead of meeting with voters like he should have been. The Biden bot had another breakdown over the week, locking into aggressive baby fondling mode at a middle school in Minnesota.

While Jill Biden addressed the assembled school, Joe was standing around uselessly, just plodding around the stage, making a good impression of how his state department crept around Afghanistan during the withdrawal. Then suddenly, the Biden bot’s baby groping algorithmic activity in his positronic brain must have spiked.

With all the smoothness of Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg sipping a glass of water while testifying at a hearing before Congress, Joe Biden bolted to attention, made a beeline toward a student sharing the stage with him and Jill, and pursued the youngling across the stage. Joe stood directly behind the kid and put his hands on the unwitting student, rubbing the 12 to 13-year-old’s shoulders in front of the school.

Now I guess getting a back rub from the president in front of the entire school could be the most incredible, most validating experience ever. The students might be giving them high fives saying, yo you got a back rub from the president of the United States in front of the entire school! His popularity could instantly have gone up. He might be pleased about it.

But also, it might have been the most stressful and embarrassing, uncomfortable moment of that kid’s life. We don’t know. He might have hated it. And so if that wasn’t cleared with the kid and his parent’s beforehand, and the school, that the president wanted to give one of the students a shoulder rub during the assembly, that was wildly inappropriate and seriously violated the kid’s space.

You can’t just do that, even if you’re president, man. You’re still the same as everyone else, and we’re all still the same as you. For decades, Joe Biden has been drunk with power and stuck on some 1970s campaigning energy where you hug everybody and their baby who’s within the 6 feet of space around you that is Delaware.

While the president’s longsuffering wife spoke to the assembly, in increasingly more anxious, urgent, stress-ridden tones, trying to act like everything was expected in the middle of another seriously uncomfortable cringe moment with Joe Biden, the president turns around, sort of pivots and does that Vincent Vega, which way should I go thing, and then hastily makes his escape, exiting stage right.

Tens of millions of American voters elected Joe Biden president despite his troubling and awkward history of having absolutely no sense of personal boundaries, common sense social graces, or decent manners. This guy is an anti-social bully, a completely heartless robot who’s a danger to humanity. Next time around, voters need to get it together and pick someone with a brain to be president.